Saturday, September 13, 2003
Well tis the mad woman back again... Didn't think I'd show up again did ya?
Its been a long week. And this post is devoted to my Pa, love you heaps and you will always be in my heart. Am sorry for all the worries I musta caused, and I know all the digs at me were just for my own good (or so you saw it). I will miss your ways Pa, and even though I may have complained about you coming to visit I still valued your wisdom and your love.
Saturday night last week we (me and my brother) get a call from mom, "Pa is bad, I am coming over, Uncle says he may not last till I get there".
To explain, my mom is in NSW, 2hrs drive from the airport, 2+hrs flight and 3hr car drive to where Pa is in hospital.
So she says, I am coming on the next flight, can your brother pick me up at the airport. I say, ok that's fine. Get off the phone and wonder, should I be going with her?! We have made a couple of mercy dashes up to pa before and headed home the next day cause he was fine. So the debate in my mind begins, my most wonderful cousin K solves it for me, tells me to go, support my mom if nothing else. Love her forever for making me go. Me and my bro grab a couple of things, me my ipod and some clothes, including one good set just in case, but I think, oh it will only be a couple of days so I leave my puter behind. So we go pick her up and begin the 3hr drive up to the hospital, by the time we make it up there it is midnight, we go straight to the hospital where mom goes in and see's Pa, he is resting comfortably. We head to the place we are staying at, no one is up, the doors are all locked (shit) we knock and finally get let in. Curl up in the beds and sleep... on and off.
Wake up Sunday, throat feeling kind of sore in the morning, but ok. Off to the movies before we see Pa, "finding Nemo" great movie, worth seeing definitely, desperately seeking some lightening of the mood at this point, so great distraction too! Out to see Pa, looking very old and frail, check out his condition and do the nursing thing (gah hate being the only medically trained staff in the family). Head off home, family wondering if mom's sister should come over from the USA, much discussion. Much teasing of me by my uncle, he is great, love his little jibes.
On to Monday... slept really badly again, me and mom in the same room neither of us slept well. Up Monday morning... throat BLOODY sore... got my mom to look, her words were "Ewwwww, quite swollen and red too, bit of puss on the left hand side". I am like, wow, thanks mom. Take pain killers, feeling like shit. Know I am getting tonsillitis but pretend that it is not true at this point, cause Pa is sick and that is the biggest concern.
Let the other rellies (relatives) head out to hospital today, I don't want to make him sicker. Mom, her two brothers and her step brother all visit. Head out to the hospital a second time in the afternoon, we get a call, crying to tell us to come say goodbye. Me and my bro hop in the car and head over to the hospital, knowing it is likely too late (15minute drive from where we were).
Hold back from crying, trying to be a good support for mom cause Dad hadn't managed to get a flight down from NSW yet.
It was almost like I was looking at her from a nursing point of view, she said all the things you know you will hear from some member of the family when someone dies. "If I don't leave, then it wont really have happened..." "He just looks like he is sleeping and he should wake up..." Mainly for the next couple of days I heard "I want my daddy back" from my mom... know how heartbreaking that is to hear? cause you know you can't do anything about it and you can't bring him back. Almost got mad a couple of times, nearly told her "he can't come back, would you want him to suffer like he was??" But I kept my tongue, cause I know how much I would be saying the same things if I was in her position.
Impossible to sleep, as much as from mom crying during the night as from the tonsillitis. Give up on Tuesday and go to the doctor to get antibiotics, still feeling like crap, falling asleep at the drop of a hat and waking myself snoring cause my throat is so swollen. My blood pressure is 130/100... well surprise surprise....*rolls her eyes*
Gonna leave the rest till tomorrow... this post is long enough as is.
Its been a long week. And this post is devoted to my Pa, love you heaps and you will always be in my heart. Am sorry for all the worries I musta caused, and I know all the digs at me were just for my own good (or so you saw it). I will miss your ways Pa, and even though I may have complained about you coming to visit I still valued your wisdom and your love.
Saturday night last week we (me and my brother) get a call from mom, "Pa is bad, I am coming over, Uncle says he may not last till I get there".
To explain, my mom is in NSW, 2hrs drive from the airport, 2+hrs flight and 3hr car drive to where Pa is in hospital.
So she says, I am coming on the next flight, can your brother pick me up at the airport. I say, ok that's fine. Get off the phone and wonder, should I be going with her?! We have made a couple of mercy dashes up to pa before and headed home the next day cause he was fine. So the debate in my mind begins, my most wonderful cousin K solves it for me, tells me to go, support my mom if nothing else. Love her forever for making me go. Me and my bro grab a couple of things, me my ipod and some clothes, including one good set just in case, but I think, oh it will only be a couple of days so I leave my puter behind. So we go pick her up and begin the 3hr drive up to the hospital, by the time we make it up there it is midnight, we go straight to the hospital where mom goes in and see's Pa, he is resting comfortably. We head to the place we are staying at, no one is up, the doors are all locked (shit) we knock and finally get let in. Curl up in the beds and sleep... on and off.
Wake up Sunday, throat feeling kind of sore in the morning, but ok. Off to the movies before we see Pa, "finding Nemo" great movie, worth seeing definitely, desperately seeking some lightening of the mood at this point, so great distraction too! Out to see Pa, looking very old and frail, check out his condition and do the nursing thing (gah hate being the only medically trained staff in the family). Head off home, family wondering if mom's sister should come over from the USA, much discussion. Much teasing of me by my uncle, he is great, love his little jibes.
On to Monday... slept really badly again, me and mom in the same room neither of us slept well. Up Monday morning... throat BLOODY sore... got my mom to look, her words were "Ewwwww, quite swollen and red too, bit of puss on the left hand side". I am like, wow, thanks mom. Take pain killers, feeling like shit. Know I am getting tonsillitis but pretend that it is not true at this point, cause Pa is sick and that is the biggest concern.
Let the other rellies (relatives) head out to hospital today, I don't want to make him sicker. Mom, her two brothers and her step brother all visit. Head out to the hospital a second time in the afternoon, we get a call, crying to tell us to come say goodbye. Me and my bro hop in the car and head over to the hospital, knowing it is likely too late (15minute drive from where we were).
Hold back from crying, trying to be a good support for mom cause Dad hadn't managed to get a flight down from NSW yet.
It was almost like I was looking at her from a nursing point of view, she said all the things you know you will hear from some member of the family when someone dies. "If I don't leave, then it wont really have happened..." "He just looks like he is sleeping and he should wake up..." Mainly for the next couple of days I heard "I want my daddy back" from my mom... know how heartbreaking that is to hear? cause you know you can't do anything about it and you can't bring him back. Almost got mad a couple of times, nearly told her "he can't come back, would you want him to suffer like he was??" But I kept my tongue, cause I know how much I would be saying the same things if I was in her position.
Impossible to sleep, as much as from mom crying during the night as from the tonsillitis. Give up on Tuesday and go to the doctor to get antibiotics, still feeling like crap, falling asleep at the drop of a hat and waking myself snoring cause my throat is so swollen. My blood pressure is 130/100... well surprise surprise....*rolls her eyes*
Gonna leave the rest till tomorrow... this post is long enough as is.
8:20 AM
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Writing since January 2003!
web-counter? Maybe one day
BJ T now was S
Born in April on the 21st!
Australian but living in the USA.
Allison
Sharmaine
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